Emotion and Logic

Posted: July 30, 2013 in Addiction/Recovery
Tags: , , , , ,

969360_497750076967540_603401270_nIn my life , doing what I feel right in That moment has caused me endless regrets.  Speaking out in anger, trying to help others after feeling sorry for them.  Emotions are a necessity.  Emotions are what makes us human.  Without emotions we will never learn to love, never learn out of our mistakes. We will never learn to cry or to laugh.</strong>

As in everything in life there has to be balance.  If we only act out of emotion or let our thoughts and behaviors be governed by it, everything in our lives would be chaos.  Acting on emotion  is purely acting on impulse.  Kids are a good example of this.  Their brain is not fully developed yet, so when they see something they want, but can’t have the usually act out in anger.  Emotion doesn’t think of consequences.  Emotion only thinks in the present moment.

In adulthood we learn to a certain degree to manage and control our emotions. To think before we speak, to way up the pro’s and the cons before we act.  As a recovering addict, when I think back on my life, I realize that every time I started using again, I made an emotional, impulsive, irrational decisions.  Sometimes out of anger, sometimes out of self-pity, and a guilty conscience.  The substance  took away some emotions and amplified others.  I lost control of my ability to keep my emotions in check.  I lost my ability to think of consequences, the ability to think things through.

In my mind I was in control, I didn’t care what I did to other people, and beware to those who wronged me.  I had a motto “I don’t get mad, I get even”.  I was filled with hate, revenge and un-forgiveness.  I was self-righteous, and self-centered. The exact opposite of who I am.  I had rage outbursts, said things to people who no one should say, and did things that no right-minded person should ever do.  I was acting like someone with Anti-Social personality disorder.

When I got clean feelings of regret and remorse overwhelmed me.  I thought ”how can anyone love this monster that I have become?’  I needed to forgive myself.  Easier said than done.  I was terrified to see my loved ones again.  What are they going say.  Are they going to hate me?

They showed me love and forgiveness.  If the people who I have wronged so much can forgive me, why cant I? Little by little, step by step I started to forgive myself. I forgave those that wronged me.  My attitude started to change, my mood changed, and I started to see the positive side of life again.

Every aspect of life is better now.  Everything is beautiful.  The environment around me.  The people in my life.  I am thankful for everything.  The bed that I sleep in,  the food that I eat.  I am thankful that I am alive.  That I still have good health.  I am thankful for my family and friends.

This was a good and humbling experience for me.  It’s still a battle to not act out on emotion.  But I have made a conscious decision to think things through.  I don’t act out in anger, I wait a while for myself to cool down and think. Only after this I act.  I try to place myself in the other persons shoes. I always ask myself. Why does he feel that way?  How would I have felt in the same situation?  What can WE do to resolve the issue.

My empathy is back.  In the past I put other people issues and problems ahead of my own.  Now I will still listen to their problems, give advice where I can, but I put my own life, my own issues first.  If I know it’s going to be detrimental to my own recovery, I won’t get involved.

Emotion and logic has to be in balance.  To much of the one, or the other causes problems and unnecessary stress.  It will greatly increase your chances of recovery, and overall well-being.

It take a lot of practice and patience, but it’s worth it.

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